Beard Growing Mistakes: The Biggest Mistake Comes After You Grow It

Most men think growing the beard is the hard part.

I don't.

I think one of the biggest beard growing mistakes happens after you've already got one.

You finally get through the early growth stages. The itch settles down. The patchy-looking sections begin to fill out. You've got enough length to actually call it a beard.

Then something else happens.

You start looking at everybody else's.

You see a beard on Instagram that's denser than yours.

Someone on YouTube has more length.

Another guy has an incredibly sharp barbered shape.

Suddenly the beard you were perfectly happy with yesterday doesn't seem good enough.

Then you start tweaking it.

Trimming.

Changing the shape.

Trying another product.

Taking a little more off one side.

Then the other.

And before long, you're solving a problem that didn't really exist in the first place.

Growing the beard takes patience.

Being happy with the beard you've grown can sometimes be harder.

The Biggest Beard Growing Mistake: Comparing Yourself to Other Men

There are some incredible beards online.

Long beards.

Short beards.

Huge dense beards.

Perfectly sculpted beards.

They're great for inspiration.

They become a problem when you start treating somebody else's beard as the standard yours has to meet.

Every beard is different.

Your beard is influenced by your own:

• genetics;
• density;
• hair colour;
• texture;
• curl pattern;
• growth direction;
• face shape;
• moustache growth;
• natural asymmetry.

You cannot groom your way into somebody else's genetics.

You can improve the condition and presentation of the beard you have.

That's where your attention should be.

Social Media Beards Aren't Always Reality

This is worth remembering.

When you see a phenomenal beard photograph or ten-second video online, you're often seeing that beard under ideal conditions.

The person may be:

• indoors;
• freshly washed;
• freshly oiled;
• freshly balmed;
• professionally trimmed;
• perfectly brushed;
• under controlled lighting;
• standing against a complementary background;
• shooting with a good camera;
• using edited images or colour grading.

Then you compare that with your beard while standing outside in Scottish wind after being at work for six hours.

Of course they're going to look different.

I've shot plenty of beard content in controlled conditions myself.

You can wash the beard, oil it, balm it, brush it, get your lighting exactly where you want it, record fifteen seconds, stop, reset everything and go again.

That isn't how a beard looks every minute of real life.

Real beards move.

They get blown about.

They get tangled.

The hairs separate.

Some stick out.

Lighting changes them dramatically.

Don't compare your everyday beard to somebody else's highlight reel.

Lighting Can Completely Change How Dense Your Beard Looks

This catches a lot of men out.

A beard can look incredibly dense in one photograph and noticeably thinner five minutes later.

Nothing has happened to the hair.

The light changed.

Strong light coming through the beard can reveal spaces between individual hairs.

A darker background may make a light beard disappear around the edges.

A bright background behind a dark beard can make every thinner section more obvious.

Soft frontal light can create a much fuller appearance.

Even colour temperature matters.

Warm tones can bring out reds and browns.

Cool light can make the same beard appear flatter.

Before deciding your beard suddenly looks terrible, change the environment.

You may discover the problem was the lighting rather than the beard.

Stop Expecting Your Beard To Look Perfect All Day

Hair moves.

That's the reality.

If you go outside, your beard is exposed to:

• wind;
• rain;
• humidity;
• dust;
• clothing;
• movement;
• sweat.

It isn't going to maintain exactly the same shape it had five minutes after you finished grooming it.

That's especially true with a long beard.

You can use beard balm to provide some hold.

You can brush it into shape.

You can tie it when it's extremely windy.

But expecting every hair to stay perfectly positioned for twelve hours will make you miserable.

A beard isn't a helmet.

Another Big Mistake: Constantly Trimming It

This one can become addictive.

You notice one side looks slightly longer.

Snip.

Now the other side looks longer.

Snip.

You notice another hair.

Snip.

Then another.

Eventually you've taken enough away that the overall shape has changed.

Then you try to correct that.

I've seen men effectively trim themselves into shaving the whole thing off.

If you're growing a beard longer, don't constantly chase perfect symmetry.

Natural beard hair does not grow perfectly symmetrically.

One side may grow:

• slightly faster;
• slightly thicker;
• curlier;
• straighter;
• in another direction.

A small amount of asymmetry is normal.

Why Over-Trimming Becomes a Problem

Imagine your right side looks five millimetres longer.

You remove five millimetres.

Now the left looks slightly different because it curls differently.

So you adjust it.

The bottom no longer looks quite balanced.

Another adjustment.

You keep getting closer to the mirror, analysing smaller and smaller differences.

Eventually you're not looking at the beard anymore.

You're looking at individual hairs.

That's when you need to stop.

Step away from the mirror.

Look at yourself from the distance another human being would actually see you.

Does the beard look good overall?

If yes, leave it alone.

When You Should Trim Your Beard

I'm not against trimming.

Far from it.

A good trim can completely transform a beard.

The difference is purpose.

Trim because you want to:

• strengthen the shape;
• remove damaged ends;
• improve symmetry;
• maintain a particular length;
• clean up a style;
• change the overall silhouette.

Don't trim because you found three hairs that don't behave exactly like the other ten thousand.

If you're unsure, read our full guide on how often you should trim your beard.

Find a Beard Barber You Trust

If you're making a meaningful change to a beard you've spent months or years growing, I'd strongly consider using an experienced barber.

But choose carefully.

Don't assume that somebody is brilliant with long beards simply because their social-media page looks impressive.

Look at:

• customer reviews;
• examples of long-beard work;
• before-and-after photographs;
• recommendations from other bearded customers;
• how long they've been working;
• whether they actually listen to what clients want.

Most importantly, explain your goal before they start.

Tell them:

“I'm growing this longer. I only want it tidied. Do not remove unnecessary length.”

A barber can't read your mind.

Be specific.

Don't Let a Barber Turn Your Beard Into Their Beard

A good barber should work with:

• your beard;
• your density;
• your face;
• your preferred style;
• your growth goal.

Not automatically force everyone into the same shape.

If you like a wild natural beard, tell them.

If you want it extremely sharp, tell them.

If you're trying to grow another six inches, definitely tell them.

Your beard should come out looking like a better version of your beard, not a template.

The Other Mistake: Never Being Satisfied

There is a strange thing that happens when you grow a beard.

You start with:

“I'd love to be able to grow a beard.”

Then you grow one.

Now you want it longer.

It gets longer.

Now you want it denser.

It fills out.

Now you want a different shape.

Then a stronger moustache.

Then more length again.

The finish line keeps moving.

There isn't necessarily anything wrong with having another goal.

That's part of the fun.

But recognise when ambition becomes dissatisfaction.

Take a photograph from a year ago.

Look at where you started.

You've probably achieved something your previous self would have been delighted with.

Consistency Matters More Than Constant Change

A good beard is generally built through boring consistency rather than constant experimentation.

Wash it properly.

Condition it.

Comb it.

Brush it.

Use balm when you want extra control.

Then leave it alone.

Doing that consistently over months and years matters more than buying a completely new routine every time a social-media advert appears.

A dermatologist's healthy-beard guidance also focuses heavily on consistent cleansing, moisturising and grooming of both the facial hair and skin underneath.

The basics matter.

Build a Simple Beard Care Routine

You don't need fifteen products.

A straightforward routine can look like:

1. Wash

Use a gentle beard wash according to your skin, lifestyle and product.

2. Dry Carefully

Avoid aggressively rubbing the beard with a towel.

3. Apply Beard Oil

Work beard oil through the hair and skin to keep both conditioned.

4. Comb

Use a wide-tooth comb to remove tangles.

5. Add Beard Balm if Needed

If you want shape or help controlling flyaways, apply a small amount of beard balm or beard butter.

6. Brush

Brush through to distribute product and finish the shape.

Then go and live your life.

Stop Changing Products Before They've Had Time To Work

Another version of impatience is constantly switching your routine.

A product gets used for three days.

You don't see a dramatic transformation.

You buy another.

Then another.

Beard-care products are mainly about maintaining the condition of the hair and skin.

They aren't going to rewrite your genetics overnight.

Judge products by things such as:

• Does the beard feel softer?
• Is the skin comfortable?
• Is it easier to comb?
• Does the balm provide the hold you want?
• Does your beard remain manageable throughout the day?
• Do you enjoy using it?

Not:

“Did it magically give me somebody else's beard?”

Don't Chase a Perfect Beard

There isn't one.

Even the beard you think is perfect probably has:

• thinner sections;
• uneven growth;
• flyaway hairs;
• a stronger side;
• lighter hairs;
• awkward curls;
• areas its owner wishes were different.

You're seeing the entire beard.

They're staring at the details.

Exactly like you do with yours.

Why Your Own Beard Probably Looks Worse to You Than Everyone Else

You examine your beard closer than anybody else ever will.

You know where:

• the thinner cheek is;
• that weird curl lives;
• the moustache grows unevenly;
• those three grey hairs are;
• the fork appears;
• one side sticks out.

Someone talking to you isn't mentally zooming into those areas.

They see your entire face.

We tend to judge ourselves with much greater attention than other people do.

That's another reason constant mirror-checking can make small imperfections seem enormous.

Don't Make Big Decisions on a Bad Beard Day

Bad beard days exist.

Maybe:

• it's humid;
• you've slept on it badly;
• the wind destroyed it;
• you rushed your routine;
• it needs washing;
• it's unusually tangled;
• the lighting is terrible.

Don't decide to cut six inches off because it looked rubbish at 8:15 on Tuesday morning.

Wash it.

Condition it.

Style it.

Look again tomorrow.

If you still want to change it after a week, fair enough.

Growing a Beard Is a Long-Term Game

Hair growth is slow.

That's why consistency matters so much.

You can remove a year's growth in a few minutes.

Growing it back still takes a year.

The same applies when you've hit a stage where the beard doesn't seem to be improving.

You might simply be going through the awkward beard plateau, where daily changes become too small for you to notice.

Before doing anything drastic, give it time.

Look After the Skin Underneath Too

A great beard isn't only about the visible hair.

The skin underneath matters.

Poor cleansing, irritation, dryness or persistent flaking can make growing and maintaining the beard uncomfortable.

The American Academy of Dermatology recommends choosing beard-care products according to skin type and keeping the skin beneath facial hair properly cleansed and moisturised.

If you're experiencing persistent:

• redness;
• painful bumps;
• severe itching;
• scaling;
• sores;
• sudden patches of hair loss,

don't keep adding grooming products and hoping one fixes it.

Speak to a GP or dermatologist.

What To Do When You Start Comparing Your Beard

Try this.

Step 1: Remember the Environment

Is the beard you're comparing yours with sitting under studio lighting?

Step 2: Look at Your Old Photos

Compare yourself with yourself.

Not somebody else.

Step 3: Identify the Actual Problem

Is there genuinely something you want to improve?

Or do you simply wish your genetics looked like his?

Step 4: Fix What You Can Control

You can control:

• grooming;
• shape;
• conditioning;
• cleanliness;
• styling;
• patience.

You can't control the beard you were genetically given.

Step 5: Leave It Alone for a While

Sometimes your beard doesn't need another intervention.

It needs another three months.

The Beard Should Suit You

This is probably the biggest point.

Grow the beard you like.

If that's:

• short and sharp;
• huge and wild;
• heavily styled;
• completely natural;
• long and tapered;
• dense and squared off,

go for it.

You don't need permission from Instagram.

You don't need strangers in a comment section to approve it.

Advice can be useful.

Inspiration can be useful.

Comparison usually isn't.

Final Thoughts

The biggest beard growing mistakes don't always happen while you're trying to grow facial hair.

They often happen afterwards.

You finally build something you're proud of, then social media convinces you it isn't good enough.

You compare it with perfectly groomed studio beards.

You start trimming every imperfection.

You keep changing your routine.

And you forget that a real beard is supposed to look like hair.

It moves.

It changes.

It grows unevenly.

It gets messy outside.

Look after it consistently.

Use the right products.

Trim with purpose.

Find a barber you trust when you need one.

But most importantly, stop trying to turn your beard into somebody else's.

Grow yours.

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Scottish beard care.
Born in Scotland, enjoyed Worldwide.

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